I'm gaggin' on it.

Shortly after 11pm, I got a text from Ryan that said, "Want McDonald's iced coffee?" I danced with glee (in my head, anyway) because I love McDonald's iced coffee. It is truly delicious. Ryan often brings it to me during a shift as a special treat. (The coffee is actually a mere excuse for the real treat, which is my loving husband visiting me at work.)

The following conversation ensued. (Note the times between the texts.)

Finally, around 1:30am, Ryan got here with the coffee. I felt so bad that he'd waited so long just to get me a drink. He handed me the cup. I thanked him and said, "Hmm...I wonder why it's so dark?"

His face wrinkled and he said, "They didn't seem like they had any idea what they were doing." I continued to peer at the beverage and I noticed some dark stuff at the bottom. Oh, he got me an iced mocha! How sweet. Must be chocolate syrup. I swirled it around with the straw. Nope.

"Oh, there are coffee grounds on the bottom," I observed. (I am not a brat like this post is making me sound! First of all, there was a phone conversation in which I thanked him repeatedly for offering the coffee and told him how sweet he is; second, I'm a horrible liar/faker so I couldn't ignore the obvious fact that this iced coffee had problems. It was mere observation, not complaining :) Besides, I was too excited to see Ryan to be upset about the coffee.) But back to the story. Ryan said, "Are you serious?!" and was adorably angry at the wrong that had been done his wife. I nodded and took an adventurous sip.

He asked, "Is it the worst thing ever?" "Mm-hmm," I confirmed sweetly, never breaking my smitten glee. His shoulders slumped and he gave a dejected sigh and began the story of his McDonald's experience, complete with a disturbingly skilled hick accent when speaking as the employee. It had been a long and somewhat frustrating trip. Poor, generous husband of mine.

"I want you to take a drink," I said with a mischievous grin. "No!" was his immediate, inevitable response. "Please? For the experience," I implored. He sighed and did it.

"AGH!" He immediately jumped backward, then started stepping this way and that, looking as if he had no idea what to do with himself. I laughed. He wiped his tongue off on his arm in desperation. I laughed some more.

We continued our conversation. He had premiered the "Greyscale" trailer at the showing of another locally made film and it had been very well-received. I wanted to know every detail as I was so sad to have missed an important event for him. He paused and smacked his lips, staring with hatred at the coffee. I said, "I know, this stuff is going to haunt us." He agreed and we talked some more, then said goodbye.

I went into the dining room on our unit and began to doctor my drink. I poured the liquid into another cup, rinsed the coffee grounds from the McDonald's cup and put sugar packets and whole milk in the bottom, then poured the coffee back in. That was much better. My additions had somewhat lessened the arugula aftertaste. I texted Ryan, assuring him that I'd salvaged the drink, and bravely downed the whole thing - although it took me two hours.

It was yummy, though. I promise. But oh man, if you could have tasted the drink they originally made...*shudder*.

Ba-dop-ba-ba-barf...