Well, I was at work when I posted the brief Yemma update and shortly after I posted, I started freaking out. It came on kind of suddenly. I guess I had a bad look on my face because a nurse from across the nurse's station asked, "Sarah, are you okay?" and I started bawling, just like that.
So, in short, I took last night and tonight off work and drove up here after work yesterday. I didn't tell anyone I was coming up. They were all excited to see me, especially Yemma.
Yemma sounds a lot better, but she coughs a lot, especially at night. As I type, we're in her hospital room and she has just another hour or two to go on her 24-hour Taxol drip. Then they'll infuse two liters of Cisplatin into her abdominal port. It'll drip in by gravity (meaning just freely, instead of through a pump that regulates the rate) so it'll only take a few hours, and she should get to go home tonight even if it's kind of late. She's really excited about that.
Last night she got up and I heard her say, "Oh." I looked over and she was looking down at her pillow. There was hair all over it. It was just like in the movies, but it didn't create a spectacle for us. She continued, "Well, we knew THAT was gonna happen." I said, "I'm okay if you're okay" and she repeated it, and we went on about our business (which was watching the Shirley Temple version of "The Little Princess" on my laptop).
I want to thank everyone for your thoughts and prayers. We need them and feel them all around us. As ever, I am SO grateful for the peace that God is giving us through this. My main concern is for those of our loved ones who don't know Him and don't have that peace. It breaks my heart to see and hear of their worry. Of course, like the other night at work, I have my moments - I am human, after all - but Yemma and I have just put this in God's hands, trusting Him completely. In all honesty, I had just seen "My Sister's Keeper" the night before and watching the girl go through the side effects of chemo really stuck with me. So I mostly blame my imagination for my little freak-out session. (Side note - do yourself a favor and don't see that movie if you have a loved one newly on chemo. The book is much better than the movie, anyway.)
Allow me to leave you with this conversation that I had with Ryan on Gmail today:
Me: Eeeeeeeee!!! http://www.etsy
Me: I loooooooooove! It's a journal and it's tiny.
Ryan: It is a death sentence. (Quoting the movie "Kung Pow")
Me: I was thinking someone could have their living will written in there. That way if anyone found them dead, they'd have it on them. Beautifully morbid, don't you think?
Ryan: But what if they died in a fire....
Me: That's why you spray fireproof stuff that I may or may not have just invented in my head on it.
Ryan: You could spray that all over you in that case.
Me: No because it's corrosive to human skin.
Ryan: You need a safer imagination.
Have a great "4th" weekend! :)