Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Rehabisms

People in the hospital say all kinds of interesting things. Sometimes they're funny, sometimes sweet, sometimes just worded in such a way that it's worth sharing. Here are a few interesting things I've heard on the rehab floor recently:

Nurse: "I have an important question that I have to ask you."
Patient: "Well, I'm married; I can't go out with you."
Nurse: "No, it's not that question. That one I don't ask in front of the wives."

(Checking on an adorable, confused lady in the middle of the night)
Me: "Are you comfortable?"
Patient: "Oh, yes. And how about you? Are you getting enough sleep?"
Me: "I haven't been sleeping. I sleep during the day, and at night I come here and take care of you."
Patient: "Oh, well, aren't you sweet?"

Patient: "I think my pants are stuck on my grabbers."
Me: "Your what?"
Patient: "Those, down on my feet." (Points.)
Me: "Those are your socks."
Patient: "Okay, whatever you want to call them is fine."

Nurse: "Now, if one of us walked into the room and found you unresponsive - not breathing, no heartbeat - would you want us to do everything in our power to bring you back? That means chest compressions, putting you on a machine to make you breathe, shocking the living daylights out of you..."
Patient: "What I want you to do is walk out of the room, close the door and say, 'That ol' boy had a good run.'"

2 comments:

Stephanie said...

Grabbers... hahaa...
And the last one made me a little sad!

Glamorous Life of a House Wife said...

I am sure there are times you want to burst into laughter and times you want to burst into tears. Ah! What an emotional job!